It was the question I heard time and time again as a child. My brother always knew he wanted to be a “Back Doctor”. I guess people thought that was a funny response so it was literally always his only one. I’d say he came pretty close since now he is a Chiropractor. My sister’s answer was always the same as well, “A Vet”, she would respond simply. She loved animals but did not love school, so, she has since changed route.
I was the only one who had no answer. From a very young age I knew I wanted to help people…but what is that?? There was no simple job title or goal to set, just this vague direction or idea, and it was all I knew.
Years and decades of responding with a defeated “I don’t know” paired with a shrug, I was pursuing a degree in Psychology. Psych 101 lead me to believe that this was the first step to unraveling my mystery title. At the same time my mom was moving from my parents’ home to her new bachelorette pad and when she was signing her apartment lease the office manager offered me a job. Me. Not my grown, experienced with working, Mother… or my barely younger than I sister, Me. I thought, “Sure. I’ll take an adult’s hourly rate plus commission”. I saw everyone else in the office and more specifically their age and qualifications, and felt precocious. Obviously, sales wasn’t exactly “helping” anyone other than my own college budget, but I was helping people get a new pad, and that felt cool.
A handful of other sales, retail, and student event planning jobs later, and I was getting close to snagging that coveted piece of paper that was surely a map to my future position of helping people, right? WRONG. My first job out of college was at a Private Sector of the Kansas Child Protective Services. Talk about helping people!! I was going to get to help the sweetest and cutest kind of people! Wrong Again. I was actually going to get them homes outside of their abusive biological ones and put them where they knew no one and begged to go back to their unspeakable previous domestic quarters only to have their parents complete a simple series of nonsense and get their favorite “punching bag” back. This was a seriously hard job, and I definitely did not feel that it was what “kid-me” meant by “helping people”.
I had my first abuse victim lose their life. I cried. A lot. I resigned. I moved back to Texas.
I worked as a dance instructor and assistant sales manager at a Buckle but I knew these were just baby stepping stones to my BIG HELPFUL Future. A few months of that and I found myself back in the hands of a totally skewed government agency. The “Health and Human Services”. “A few years here and I can get hired ANYWHERE”, I told myself. 4 years to the day and I left that world for a more corporate experience. I felt it was a step in the right direction, since now instead of doling out food stamps to generations of ungrateful recipients with a team of faded and jaded, resentful women, I’d be working with a young, gorgeous and vibrant team of ladies who get people jobs! I loved that job and my team but the company had some pretty cutthroat morals, and I didn’t fit that mold. So just weeks before finding out if I would actually bag that “Rookie of the Year” award my supervisors had been tracking me for, I was let go for interviewing for a less savage team and position. A few years of making more money than I’d ever believed I was capable of and I realized I had severely lost sight of my childhood knowledge of what I was meant to do in this life. Unfortunately, helping businesses secure advertising space did not feel like helping people, no matter how I contorted the role.
I quit. I cried. I thought I had a plan to establish a non-profit, and I failed.
Funny thing, at some point my long time Chiropractors began saying they needed “A Meggan”. A hireable one. As in one who believed in their culture as strongly as I did, could communicate the message so they could do their parts, and who wasn’t already employed. I accepted their opportunity without even thinking. I meant it immediately! Any skill set I possessed that they needed, I knew it was helping people so I was ready! Almost two years later and I can finally recognize my goal has always been to Serve and Support My Family, My Community, and This World; and I’m doing it! It hasn’t always been easy and we have all joked about going back to steady mindless positions but I know we are making a difference, and I finally feel like I know what I want to BE. A Fully Connected, Life-Loving, and Life-Changing Part to a Whole Weave of Wonderment and World Change.